Where do I go when I need silence?
Sometimes there is nowhere to go, you just have to stay where you are and close your eyes, but you can´t close you ears... you can´t just stop your heart.
All decisions in life have a price... every trophy needs to be won.
I need to put up a fight. The hardest one, ever.
Long time ago I found out I don´t like the city, but I was too unsure, not brave enough to confront that feeling... confused, I didn´t know myself well enough to live up to that. Now that it is crystal clear and I am not afraid to put it into words, I am too close to get to my precious goal, too close to quit now. But it seems that the closer we get, the more difficult it becomes.
Anxiety, everything seems blurry and unreachable. I need silence, long and deep, deep, silence. No more stimulation, no more sounds, no more information. Silence. Long and deep, and a long walk.
Sometimes I wish a could express myself knowing that people are going to get them, they will catch my essence. I don´t really need to be understood by ¨the world¨ it is just that sometimes I really need to make and idea clear, but... I don´t understand modern communication and that makes it difficult, too much misinterpretation. I just wish we could talk soul to soul. But, does anybody believe in souls anymore? I doubt it more and more as I grow older.
Silence. I know that when all this is over I will say it was worth it, and I will, most likely, forget all the pain, and remember the good stuff.
Silence, and give me some more wine, and a cigarette please.
